


Always

by QueenHimiko



Category: Slayers (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 06:55:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2058246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenHimiko/pseuds/QueenHimiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When traveling together is no longer feasible, Lina struggles with the decision to settle down with Gourry or to let him go. Rated M for sexual content in later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of Course I Knew I Shouldn't Love You, So I Fought With All the Strength in Me Not To

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the Slayers, I'm just enjoying borrowing Hajime Kanzaka's world. Chapter title from "Happy Home" by Antigone Rising.

Gourry was too upset to mask his concern, much less his annoyance. While it was not the worst wound Lina had ever received, it was bad. Bad enough to require the Resurrection spell. While Gourry didn’t understand the difference between Recovery and Resurrection, he knew good and well that the latter one, which only Amelia among them could perform, was required for more serious wounds.

Even as he let his feelings show, he castigated himself. He told himself a long time ago he would travel with Lina no matter what. While he’d figured out he loved her ages ago, he swore never to act on it until she let him know she was ready. And even if she never was and never returned his feelings, it would be okay, just because he was traveling with her. Besides, if he left and anything happened to her he would never forgive himself.

But he couldn’t help but be frustrated with her! Harm befalling her was the base of all of his fears. It haunted his nightmares and caused him unbearable anxiety at times, what with her penchant for running head first into trouble. Honestly, she had no idea what she put him through on a daily basis. At times he was in awe that his hair hadn’t turned grey.

His eyes were on the ugly wound, leaking blood even under Amelia’s spell. Lina was awake, her eyes purposefully on the ground. So caught up was he in Lina’s safety he hadn’t noticed he wasn’t the only one who was annoyed with her.

“That was very reckless, Miss Lina.” Amelia scolded.

Lina twitched defensively, “I saw my opportunity and I took it. And that demon is dead.”

“If you’d given me a few minutes I could have helped.” Gourry said.

“In a few minutes my opening might have closed!” Lina shot back, “Couldn’t risk it.”

“And you were lucky you’ve not lost an arm!” Amelia said.

“Nevermind the fact that your little stunt distracted Gourry from the guy he was taking on.” Zel added.

“We all survived.” Lina mumbled. “Besides, it wasn’t as if I went in knowing my arm would nearly be sawed off, or…” her voice trailed off. “Hindsight is perfect you know.”

Gourry let out a breath. To nail the enemy Lina had used the Ragna Blade. Not only had the spell been overkill considering her enemy was a mere lesser demon, weilding it meant getting close enough to be torn apart by one of its numerous arms. Once Gourry had realized what she was doing he dropped his guard against the enemy he was fighting in a vain attempt to help her, and got stabbed in the back as a result. Amelia had had to heal him first. The fear that came with just escaping death hung in the atmosphere, making them all cross and defensive.

Gourry was still shaking from that fear, so much so that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to kiss her or shake her. He’d had no idea what he was getting into when he’d styled himself as her protector. He’d had no idea how reckless she was, or how easy it was for her to find trouble, not to mention the power and caliber of the enemies they fought. No idea just how often they would be faced with mortal peril.

And no idea just how deeply he would have fallen in love.

And it didn’t get easier with time. It got harder, so much harder. It was as though the longer he traveled with her the more he feared living without her. There was a time when her doing something reckless in battle would not have derailed him so. More and more, it was becoming clear that those days were gone.

Which was what truly scared him. Lately, by traveling with each other, they were proving a liability to each other. That he could be putting her in more danger by traveling together was a distasteful morsel to swallow, but it was getting harder to avoid.

Which left two choices. Settle down, or split. And oh how he wanted to settle down!

Because while he told himself if she never returned his feelings it would be fine, he knew it was a lie. He wanted her desperately. So desperately that if she rejected him he was scared it would ruin him. Yet as he watched Amelia heal her, it occurred to him that leaving things as they were he was even more likely to lose her.

The gaping wound was closed now, but Amelia was still hard at work. Without the ugly wound, it was harder to ignore that her shirt had been torn during the fight, exposing the gentle swell of her breast. He took a deep breath and let it go. So there was something there. Oh, how he wanted to touch it! To feel its softness in his hands, to hear her gasp in pleasure…

“All good.” Amelia said as she stood up and dusted herself off.

“Thanks, Amelia.” Lina said, pulling her cape around herself and hiding her exposed skin from view. “Well, we’d best find an inn before it gets too dark.”

Gourry extended an arm to help her up, and she took it. While he enjoyed the silky texture of her gloves, he yearned to clasp her bare hand in his. Still, he figured as he reached down to tussle her hair, at least he could feel the softness of her hair under his fingers. He wished that it was just the two of them so he could give it a slower stroke. And from there he could take things to a new level with Lina.

He exhaled a deep breath he was holding, and let his dreams leave with it. For now at least, he had best focus on getting to the inn safely.

* * *

“This fried chicken has to be some of the worst I’ve ever had!” Lina whined even as she continued to bite into it.

“For someone who has been complaining about the food all night, you sure can’t seem to stop eating it.” Gourry replied as he dug in heartily.

“I’m hungry!” she yelled, “Even if the food is crap, a girl’s gotta eat.”

Gourry shrugged as she finished the chicken and threw the bone on her plate, looking around the empty dining room as she did. “It’s late.”

Gourry nodded, but didn’t say anything. Zel and Amelia had already gone onto bed about an hour ago, as had the few others guests the inn had housed. But, as had been their custom as of late, he lingered with Lina in the dining hall. Even though they shared the entirety of their days together, it wasn’t enough. He wanted to share their nights as well. Going into their separate rooms at the end of the evening was something he delayed for as long as possible.

Of course, he thought going over the day’s events in his mind, if he could be a bit braver, if he could push things a little bit, then may be that would no longer be the case.

“Gourry,” she said, looking deliberately at the floor, her voice slightly nervous, “After today, we’re okay, right?”

He stared at her for a moment, realizing that this was his chance to push the envelope. While it wasn't unheard of for Lina to check to make sure things were good between them, if he tried to take the conversation deeper she would change the subject. It was one reason why he was so confused. Aside from making sure that things were good between them, she’d shut down any deeper conversation about the nature of their relationship faster than she could eat a plate of chicken. Yet the mere fact that she would check to make sure things were good between them indicated that their relationship was important to her.

And while she’d had plenty of opportunities to leave, she never did. She’d even cast a dangerous spell that had nearly taken her life for him. But if he got too close, she’d retreat.

At times he would look into her eyes and swear that he would see the feelings he had for her mirrored back at him. And at times he was just as convinced it was wishful thinking on his part. Who travels with someone for so long and never acts on those feelings after all? And as shrewd as Lina was, maybe she just traveled with him for safety, someone to watch her back.

“We’re good.” He said as he offered her his arm, testing her mood. “I’ll walk you to your room.”

It was not the first time she’d taken his arm. It didn’t happen often, but he relished it when she did. That she took it, even going so far as to cuddle up to him as she did was a good sign. Thus far things were starting out well. It seemed a good night to try his luck.

As they walked to the stairs that lead to their rooms he asked, “So, how long do you plan to keep traveling?”

As close as she was to him, he could not help but notice as she tensed slightly. “Why are you asking?”

Bad move! He scrambled to get back on safer territory. “Just curious. I mean, we’ve been traveling for a long time.”

She didn’t relax as they made it to the crest of the stairs but her voice lost its edge. “I guess it has been a while.”

Frustration bubbled within him. Her comment told him nothing. Why could he not break the surface with her?

In too short of a time, they came upon her room. As she grabbed her key to put it in the lock he grabbed her hand. She turned to look at him in surprise. “If you want to travel some more, I’ll be right beside you.” He said softly as he reached a hand down to stroke her cheek. “And if you’re ready to settle down somewhere, I’m ready. More than ready.”

Her eyes widened to the size of saucer cups as he spoke. He gave the words some time to hang in the air and for her to respond as he silently pleaded with her to let him in. She didn’t. Reluctantly he let her go. As always, the ball was in her court, but at least he had made his intentions more overt.

His heart sank a little as she turned around and put her hand on the door knob, turning it slightly. He turned to go down to his own room, scared of waking up the next morning and finding that she had fled in the night when her voice arrested him. “Gourry.”

He turned and looked at her, the expression on her face inscrutable. “When I’m ready, I’ll let you know.”

And with that, she pushed the door open and closed it behind her.

* * *

There would be no traveling that day. Not with the raging storm outside. Lina was feeling partly relieved, partly anxious. Her knees were starting to ache from all of the walking she had done through the years and it would be nice to have an excuse to sit and read all day.

Unfortunately the inn they were staying at was crappy. It wasn’t as though they’d had a lot of choice as the town they’d stumbled upon was tiny. Indeed, it was one of the less glamorous places to call home. The room smelled of mold and looked to be overdue for a thorough cleaning. And the food was terrible. Once when she was younger and less seasoned, the excitement of seeing new places was more than enough to distract her from the unpleasantness of where she slept for the night. And it wasn’t as if she spent much time in the inns anyway, what with all of the sightseeing there was to do.

The older she got, the more it bothered her. After a long, hard day of travel all she longed for was a good meal, a good bath, and a warm, comfy bed. Nights when they came upon a big city that could be managed. But all too many were spent in less populated areas, where the food would be rotten, the baths nonexistent and the bed hard and lumpy, leaving her even more sore than when she went to sleep.

Which was part of the reason that Gourry’s offer the previous night scared her even as it enticed her. She was scared because she was enticed by it! And with that came its own set of problems…

Lightning struck, followed by the roar of thunder, and Lina blinked with a start as she realized she’d read a whole page without really reading it. She mentally whacked herself, willing herself to focus on what she was reading rather than the turmoil that was brewing within her.

Someone knocked on the door. “It’s open.” She said as she flipped the page, her heart racing. “Hey, Gourry.” She said as he opened the door and came in.

She’d been expecting him. He usually came by on rainy days to hang out in her room. Her palms started to sweat as she wondered if he would make another move. “Hey. This is some storm we’re having.”

“Isn’t it, though?” she replied as he sat on the bed and brought out his sword to tend to it.

“You don’t think with the way that wind is blowing that the inn won’t collapse?”

Lina eyed the walls suspiciously as they creaked and moaned under the pressure. His mundane talk of the weather was reassuring. “Considering how shabbily this was built, I hope not.”

It was hard to ignore the fact that they were sitting close together and though, not touching, she could still feel his body heat. “Is that a good book?” he asked.

“So far.” She lied. It certainly hadn’t been good enough to distract her from her worries.

“Could you read some?”

“Sure,” Lina said, and she cleared her throat and started to read out loud, putting all of her effort into voicing the narration and making it come to life. When she realized he was snoring she turned beat red with anger. How dare he fall asleep when she reading to him!

She brought the book up high over his dense, thick head and was about to whack him when she stopped, thinking about the previous day when he’d been stabbed in the back because he’d been distracted by her recklessness. Her momentum broken she slowly sat the book down and wondered how he could fall asleep sitting up like that.

A small smile broke the corners of her mouth as she shook her head and gently grabbed him by the shoulders to move him so he was lying in a more comfortable position on the bed. Somehow he didn’t wake up. How he could be such a heavy sleeper in non-threatening situations but be so alert when danger lurked was beyond her.

She stared at him for a moment as a mix of emotions welled within her. Curiosity won out as she gingerly brushed his hair back from his face. What would it be like to hold him, to be held by him? To kiss him? To make love to him?

And how long could she keep delaying something that seemed inevitable? How long could she keep the yearnings she felt at bay? Maybe if she had a little taste it would keep her satisfied, allow her to hold out for a while longer?

She moved so she was lying on her side facing him and tentatively brought her arm around him. She took a deep breath. Holding him felt nice. She closed her eyes, just for a minute, she told herself. One minute.

A thunder clap so loud it shook the room caused her eyes to open. When had she fallen asleep? Wait a minute, when had Gourry’s hand gone to her hip?

“Lina!” he cried in despair as he pulled her closer.

“Gourry?” she asked, stunned by his behavior. Her eyes widened as she felt his lips press onto her forehead.

“You’re okay.” He said, relief pulsing through his voice.

She was about to open her mouth to state that she obviously was when she was silenced as his lips brushed against hers.

* * *

It was the dream, combined with the thunder clap. Once again his dreams were filled with her in mortal peril. And when the thunder clap tore through his consciousness at first he’d thought they were under attack yet again. When he’d woken and realized that she was alive and in his arms he wasn’t quite sure if he was awake or still dreaming.

It wasn’t until he kissed her that he realized she was awake.

Embarrassment coursed through him, followed closely by fear. If he hadn’t blown it last night he surely had by now. He was surprised he wasn’t cold and dank from being thrown into the rain. Bravely he met her gaze. She was scrutinizing him intently. “Gourry.” She said evenly. “Why did you kiss me?”

He could lie, say that he was confused from a strange dream and it meant nothing. But he knew he could never deny that kissing her meant nothing.

“Well, I’m in love with you.” He said, going with the truth. “I have been for a while.”

She stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. _Please say something, anything!_ He silently pleaded with her.

Finally she said, “When you kissed me, it felt nice.”

His eyes widened as he stared at her. Was he still dreaming? He hoped not. Tentatively he reached a hand out to caress her cheek before leaning forward to kiss her again. His hand moved down to grab hers and hold it gently as he wondered if he should really press his luck and kiss her more deeply when she decided for him by parting her lips and entering his.

Spurred by her enthusiastic response he snaked his free hand under her body and pulled her close to him, relishing in the feel of finally having her pressed tightly against his body. She squeezed his hand firmly as she wormed her free arm under him to crush him against her. Daringly he moved his hand down her back, enjoying himself as he finally got to explore her as they picked up steam, their breathing becoming more heavy and ragged as years of unreleased pressure threatened to boil over.

He could barely believe it when she parted a leg to wrap it over his hip. He squeezed his eyes tight with longing. He had wanted this for years, and somehow it was finally happening! He wondered if he should pull back, talk things over for a bit, make sure she wasn’t going to regret it later. But as she started to roll on her back, taking him with her, his unquenched desire won out as he moved his hands to her breasts so he could have a feel.

Someone knocked.

He barely had enough time to sit up on the edge of the bed before Amelia swung the door open and cavalierly strolled inside, “I know the food here sucks, but it’s still not like you to miss lunch, Miss Lina.” She said chipperly as she stood at the foot of the bed and eyed them curiously for a moment before her eyebrows arched in surprise.

Lina was beet red, “We fell asleep.” She said, her voice a bit too high in pitch.

Amelia looked from Lina to Gourry, and then put her hands over her mouth as she gasped, “I interrupted something, didn’t I?”

“No!” Lina nearly shrieked, “Come on, let’s go get some lunch. I’m hungry!” She said, springing out of bed.

Amelia stared at her forlornly as she left the room. She glanced at Gourry, “Sorry, Mr. Gourry.” She said.

Gourry clasped her on the shoulder, “Let’s get some food.”

* * *

For once, Lina was not hungry. There was a pit of dread churning in her stomach that made the thought of eating unpalatable. Yet still she ate, working not to gag as she shoveled each morsel into her mouth. If she didn’t eat she couldn’t keep the appearance that all was normal.

And Amelia was already making that difficult with the way she would look at her and raise her eyebrows, silently willing her to spill. Lina kept her eyes firmly on her plate in response.

Zel finished his meal first and excused himself. Gourry took his last bite of chicken and leaned back casually in his chair as he fixed Lina with an intense stare. She knew he wanted to talk, or maybe he wanted to finish what they started. And though her heart raced at the thought, they had already gone far enough.

Silently she kicked herself. Yes, she had a tendency to throw herself recklessly into everything she did. But the intensity of her desire for him, once unfettered, was overpowering. If Amelia had not interrupted, she wouldn’t have stopped.

She wished Amelia had interrupted earlier. Now it was too late.

Her parents had warned her that getting romantically involved with a traveling companion was a good way to get killed. Hell, she and Gourry hadn’t even been romantically involved and they were making costly lapses of judgment on the battlefield. And if her parents’ history was anything to go on, it would only get worse now that they had kissed.

She had always figured she wouldn’t fall in love until she was ready to settle down. Only life had not happened in such a tidy fashion. And the harsh reality was that traveling with Gourry was no longer feasible.

Before her now were two unappealing choices. She could settle down with Gourry and abandon the life she loved as a traveler. Or she could let Gourry go and continue to travel.

It was not a decision she wanted to make, so she continued to eat without gusto and ignore Gourry and Amelia as much as possible.

Tired of waiting for her to say something, Gourry announced, “I think I’ll go to my room for a bit.”

He stopped after he stood up, waiting for her response. “Have fun.” She replied as she licked barbeque sauce from her fingers.

As he walked away, Amelia glared at her, “Miss Lina! He wants you to join him!”

Lina grabbed her tankard and took a long drink, and set it down firmly. “I know.”

“Well?” Amelia asked, her voice several octaves higher than her natural range.

Lina turned to look out the window without bothering to reply. Amelia stood up and slammed her fists on the table, compelling Lina to look at her. “Miss Lina, if you don’t make your move soon, he’ll find someone else!”

“Huh?”

“Do you think you can keep him waiting forever? Or have you forgotten what happened with Kuppi? If you don’t act now he’ll find someone nice to settle down with, like Miss Sylphiel.”

Lina sighed as she rested her chin on her hand, “If he wants to settle down with her, then he’ll settle down with her, nothing I can do to stop it.”

Amelia flushed red with frustration as she sat down with a plop and considered her friend. “What do you have against it anyway?”

“It?”

“Romance! Kissing, intimacy, all of that stuff!”

Lina raised an eyebrow, “It’s not the fun stuff that’s bad, it’s the consequences it brings.”

“Ah!” Amelia said, “I know a spell for that, it’s perfectly reversible for when you want a baby…”

It was Lina’s turn to blush, “I know good and well about sterility spells! And not so loud!”

“Well, then what consequences…”

Lina leaned forward and started to pull at her hair, “You wouldn’t understand, you’re a princess.”

“Huh?”

“Look, girls like you fall in love and settle down in gorgeous castles with buttloads of money, and if you run out of money, then you raise taxes and get more. You have your exciting royal duties and get to go to parties all the time. And you have big houses full of servants to cook and clean for you. And when you have kids, you have nannies, wet nurses, and governesses. And whenever you want to have an adventure, you can step out of your domestic life for a week and your palace will be there waiting for you without being foreclosed on and your kids pampered, fat, and well cared for.

“Girls like me fall in love and settle down only to disappear into our cramped houses where we work ourselves to the bone for some extra cash while cleaning, cooking and caring for a pair of noisy brats. While traveling may not be as rewarding as it once was, I’m just not ready for that.” She thought for a moment before adding, “Not sure that I’ll ever be.”

Amelia’s eye softened, “I never thought of it that way.”

“Thank you for stating the obvious.” Lina replied snarkily.

“What are you going to do?”

Lina looked out the window again, and sat up straighter. “What I’m going to do is get to the next town now that the rain has stopped. Let’s gather the boys. I’m definitely not wanting to stay in this flea bag another night.”


	2. Let Me Wake With You By My Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "Always" by October Project

It should have been no sweat. The goons they were facing weren’t that tough after all, well, not compared to the enemies they had faced in the past. Mere lesser demons. Sure, there were a lot of them. But the four of them should have been more than enough to take them down. Instead, and because once again she let her feelings get in the way, the gang of four had nearly lost their lives to them.

Lina started to unraveled the minute she heard Gourry cry out in pain from behind her. “Gourry!” she cried, interrupting her chant as she turned around, taking her eye off the enemy.

She made a small choking sound as she saw that several of the demons had ganged up on him, and that one had speared him through the abdomen. Her mind shut down, the spell she had been casting, the one that she needed to cast, forgotten. Without giving it a conscious thought her legs started to move as she broke into a run towards him.

Too late, she heard the demon she had been engaged with snarl, “Foolish human.”

She was dimly aware of the spell he was casting, the chant distant behind the sound of the blood rushing through her ears as her panic grew. There was no way she could dodge a slew of Flare Arrows in time!

“Freeze Arrow!” Amelia shouted the counter spell, nullifying it before it could reach her.

Lina didn’t even have the breath to thank her as she started chanting a spell as she reached Gourry. “Elmekia Lance!” she fired at the demon who had speared him. Now, had she been at her game she would have used the magically amplified one she had almost completed casting. But the bitter truth was she hadn’t.

The demon dodged. Another wasted spell. _Dammit, Lina, get with it!_ she told herself even as she decided to risk kneeling down to check on Gourry.

“I’m all right.” He said as he put a hand on her wrist as she inspected the wound, “Go take care of them, I’ll be okay until then.”

Lina pursed her lips. He didn’t look all right. He was pale and the wound was bad. But he was right. Best thing would be to take care of their attackers so that Amelia could tend to him as soon as possible. That he needed more than a Recovery spell said enough.

“Hang tight.” She said as she went to rejoin the fight. Thankfully Zel and Amelia had taken down two of them in the time she had been distracted. A pang of guilt shot through her as she noticed that Amelia’s arm was bleeding. When had she been injured?

She did her best to shake it off and focus on the fight, but she felt strangely detached. While she didn’t make another potentially costly error, she didn’t feel as though it was actually her in the fight. It seemed as if she was watching herself go through the motions, finding the most effective spell to use so she could get back to taking care of Gourry.

“Zelas Brid!” she cried, using it to slice through the one who had injured Gourry easily. Mercifully, Amelia and Zels’ combined Ra Tilt took down the final one.

Lina didn’t even take the time to catch a breath, “He needs a Resurrection spell.”

“On it.” Amelia said as she knelt beside Gourry.

“Thanks.” Lina said quietly as she knelt on his other side and resisted the urge to hold his hand. Between the time she had last spoken to him and now he had lost consciousness. The back of her neck itched as she felt Zel’s gaze hot and accusing on her.

“What?” she snarled. _So what if I fell in love?_

“What happened back there? This isn’t like you.”

 _I fell in love._ “I messed up.” _So what? People fall in love all the time._ “It happens.”

“You’ve been messing up more and more.” Zel continued harshly, “Both of you have.”

Amelia looked up briefly from her healing spell and gave him a warning look as a rock started to sink in Lina’s stomach. It was bad enough that Zel was right. What made it worse was that she knew about the problem but had made the decision to travel without doing anything to ameliorate it.

Guilt claimed her, fueling her defenses as Zel continued to berate her, “…And now Amelia got hurt because…”

“I’m on it, okay!” she snapped as she stood up to face him, “So what if I’ve been a little out of it lately? We’re all alive! I’m just going through a bad phase, I’ll snap out of it.”

“Be sure you do before you put all of our lives in jeopardy again.” He said, his voice low and harsh. “Honestly, if you can’t hold it together anymore then maybe you should get out of the game!”

“Mr. Zelgadis!” Amelia admonished.

Lina felt her temper flare as his comment hit a nerve, “And who are you to tell me what to do?”

“Why is everybody yelling?” Gourry asked groggily as he came to. Lina shared a menacing glare with Zel before turning her attention to him.

“It’s nothing.” She said, “Just rest up. Once Amelia finishes we’re going to find a place to stay for the night.”

* * *

Lina stared at her reflection as she brushed her hair, Zel’s words ringing through her head as knots formed in her stomach. Guilt was plaguing her. She knew that she and Gourry were having trouble on the battlefield, and still she continued to plow ahead as though nothing was wrong. Twice in two days they’d messed up and badly. It was bad enough that she and Gourry were harming themselves with their mistakes, but Amelia getting hurt only seemed to emphasize that they were a danger to everyone in the vicinity now.

Meaning that she would have to decide before morning which way to go, to settle down with Gourry or to part ways.

There would be advantages to settling down. A warm, clean place to sleep every night. No more of the aches and discomforts that came with traveling. Being able to snuggle up to Gourry every night, to finally release the sexual tension she had been feeling for far too long. Once again she was reminded of how forceful her reaction had been that morning!

At the same time, being a wife just seemed so dull and boring! She hated doing chores. She hated cooking. She hated spending all day in a house. She hated all of the duties that seemed to come part and parcel with being a wife.

Sure, she’d already seen more of the world than she ever thought she would. When she first left home she never would have guessed that she would have set foot in the Outerworld! As she sat her brush down and stared at herself in the mirror she noted once again that she wasn’t getting any younger. Her knees were starting to ache after walking such long distances each day for one thing. And while there was still more she would be happy to explore, the thrill of a new adventure was starting to wear thin.

But not thin enough for her to want to give it up!

Suddenly it was too overwhelming to look at herself. She stood up, ignoring the tension in between her thighs as she did. Hastily she walked to the window as she wondered if she should get dressed and pound a bandit camp into oblivion.

 _No!_ She scolded herself as she sat on the bed. She needed to figure out what she was going to do, not run away from the problem and beat up bandits. Her hands squeezed the sheets, grounding her as she took a deep breath as she wondered if she could really leave him. After all the years they had traveled together, all that they had been through, could she really walk away?

Her thoughts ran back to when Hellmaster had abducted him and how she felt as though part of her had been ripped away. But would the loss be so great if she knew he was safe? She thought about Kuppi and how, though safe, she’d still felt that overwhelming sense of loss and jealousy. If she let him go and he found someone else who’d love him, kiss him, touch him…

Jealousy over a faceless woman surged through her and she closed her eyes, gripping the sheets tightly. She forced her face onto the woman, the jealousy receding as she pictured her and Gourry involved in erotic play only to feel the tension from that morning mount deep within her belly. She took another deep breath, alarmed as the feeling grew, drowning her ability to objectively consider her choices.

It was her own fault. When you bottle things up for long so they have a tendency to explode. She moaned as her hand trailed down her breast as she entertained the thought of going next door under the pretense of checking on him to make sure he was okay, only to accidentally end up staying the night and taking things up to a new level.

She moved her hands to brush her hair back behind her shoulders, and then slowly moved them down the front of her silk robe. She breathed deeply, thinking that she could go next door and let him do this, run his hands where hers were trailing. He would not reject her. Of that much she was confident. And while she was proficient at satisfying her own needs, lately she was tired of flying solo in that regard. Her inquisitive nature yearned to know what it was like to be with someone, and she knew who that someone she wanted to be with was.

But it would be a one way ticket. She had always sworn to never be intimate with anyone but the man that she was going to settle down with. If she went next door, she would be relinquishing a life on the road to one within the home. Thus she remained seated on her bed.

With a sigh of resignation, she cupped her breast and squeezed her nipple while the other undid the sash. She leaned back on the bed as she parted her legs slightly, figuring that if she took some time to release some of the tension then she could think about the problem rationally. She closed her eyes as her fingers found her pleasure point, images of being assisted by the blond swordsman drifting through her mind as she remembered what it felt like to hold and kiss him that morning.

Someone knocked.

Lina felt as though someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on her. She flushed crimson as she yelled, “Just a minute!” hoping that the person outside the door had no idea what she was doing. She pulled her robe together and knotted the sash as she hurriedly ran to the wash basin and poured water into it.

“Lina?’ she heard Gourry ask.

“I said just a minute!” she yelled, and then realized that she really didn’t need to be so loud. There was no way he could hear the sound of her beating heart, could he? She hurriedly washed her hands, hoping that she got the smell off of them. Gourry’s senses were supernatural! She sniffed them hurriedly and decided they would do and toweled them dry, taking but a brief moment to run a hand through her hair. Surely she could blame the fact that she had just gotten out of the shower on why it was so tussled.

She took a deep breath and hoped that her face wasn’t as flushed as it felt and then she opened the door. “Hey,” she said, hoping her voice wasn’t as high pitched as she perceived it, “What’s the occasion?”

If he noticed anything was up, he didn’t betray it. He maintained his usual air of cluelessness as he scratched his head and said, “I just wanted to talk. Do you have a moment?”

“Sure.” Lina said with a shrug, hoping she seemed as nonchalant as him as she stepped back from the door and let him in. Her heart was racing. She was alone with him, wearing only a short silk robe. Her desire was an overwhelming force within her. Hadn’t she just been pleasuring herself with thoughts of him? It was almost as though her resolve were being tested. Too late she thought that a better idea would have been to tell him she wasn’t feeling well and agree to talk in the morning, after she had made her decision. That she would lose control was a worrying thought.

He took a seat on the desk chair and she sat across from him on the bed, staring at the floor. After a few moments of awkward silence he asked, “You okay?”

“Fine,” she said too quickly, “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Well, I wanted to talk about what happened today.”

Defensiveness flared within her, and she welcomed it. It was a good diversion from the erotic thoughts that had claimed her. “What about it?” she asked, her voice low as she folded her arms across her chest.

“It’s not like you to mess up like that.”

“So?” she asked, “I choked. It happens.”

“Yeah, well,” he continued as seemingly clueless as ever, “It seems to be happening more lately.”

“So I’ve been going through a rough patch. I’ll bounce back.”

“I’ve also been going through a rough patch, too.” He said, his voice soft but intense.

“Well, then, buckle up and push through it.” She groused dismissively.

“I’ve tried.” He continued, “And it’s getting worse. And it’s only been when you’ve been hurt.”

She had been opening her mouth to retort, but she closed it and looked back at the floor. He continued, “I’ve said I would always protect you, and I still plan to, but right now I’m scared that fighting together as we are that we’re putting each other in more danger…”

“Shut up!” she barked, “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Lina, we have to talk!” he insisted.

She moved towards him, hands clenched as she grabbed his shirt. She was going to start swinging until she made the mistake of looking into his eyes and became flooded with the memory of nearly losing him earlier in the day. Driven purely by emotion, she climbed into his lap, pulled him towards her and pressed her lips against his.

He froze, caught off guard and shocked that he wasn’t being pounded to a pulp. Then he reached his hands behind her and pressed her to him as he parted her lips with his tongue, casting off years of self-restraint. All of the fears that had held him back for years, that he would scare her away by making a move were drowned under the deluge of the way she felt in his arms, the warmth of her mouth and the tangy smell of arousal that lingered around her being.

She pulled away, thankfully only to catch a breath, and he leaned forward. There was something that had to be said before they went any further, “Lina, I…”

She put a finger to his lips and made a shushing sound. “Don’t say anything.” She ordered.

“But…” he started, and then he moaned longingly as she shoved her hands under his shirt. She was desperate to distract him from saying what she was fairly sure he was going to say. Daringly she felt him up, grinning to herself as she leaned forward to kiss his neck before going lower, noting from the hardness that hit her thighs that she was having the desired effect.

“Lina…” he hissed, not quite believing it as she reached a hand down to caress his erection through his pants. Was he dreaming? He had dreamed of doing this with her so often! But never had a dream been so intense. Never had he been able to smell her like this, the feel of her small hands probing him hungrily was so real. Still, as she undid the laces to his trousers and worked him out he had the horrid feeling that this wasn’t real, that he was going to wake up any minute.

And then she knelt before him, her hands on each of his knees as she stared at his member as if eyeing a challenge. It had to be a dream! There was no way that Lina Inverse would kneel before him so! And then before he could think any more about it, she opened her mouth and surrounded him.

His hands reached frantically for something to grab, eventually settling on her shoulders as he inhaled sharply, “Don’t stop!” he begged.

Lina worked hard to oblige, but strangely it was difficult work. That she’d yet to reach the base of the shaft was bothering her, though it didn’t seem to detract from his enjoyment any. Still. And the way the saliva pooled in her mouth as she tried to figure out how to swallow without gagging. She took a deep breath and took him in as deep as she could, and then coughed as she tried to keep from gagging, drawing back in retreat as she did.

“Sorry.” She said as she wiped her mouth, looking at the floor.

He grabbed her hand and placed it around his member. “Wrap your hand around the base.” He said gently. “Should make it easier.”

She was blushing as she nodded and tried again. He was right, it was easier this way. She still had to pull away briefly to swallow but she soon found a teasing rhythm that he seemed to enjoy. It wasn’t long until his body tensed and something clumpy and salty filled her mouth.

She spit it out, her eyes widening as she did. Mechanically she brought her arm up to wipe her mouth on the sleeve of her robe. Gourry laughed. He knew he was awake now. If he had been dreaming she would have swallowed. His laughter died as he noticed the look of panic in her eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

His words rang seemingly from a distance, her thoughts dominated by the panicked knowledge that she had just done that! She’d given him a blow job. It wasn’t all the way, but it was past the point of no return!

“What did I just do?” she whispered.

He smiled nervously, “I didn’t mind.”

“Damn it!” she exclaimed as she got up and sat on the bed, her eyes wide.

Gourry felt his heart sped up. He’d never seen her like this. And after years of treading so carefully had he finally blown it by pushing her too far too fast? “Lina,” he said, making the short distance between the chair and the bed and gently grabbing her shoulders as he knelt before her. “What’s wrong?”

“I just…” she started as her voice trailed off as she tried to find a place to stare that was not at him. “I guess I’m not so innocent anymore.”

He smiled warmly, “It’s about time.” He said as he reached a hand up to stroke her cheek. “Marry me.” He said.

Lina’s eyes widened as her fist connected with his cheek. Hadn’t the reason she’d given him a blow job been in the first place to shut him up so he wouldn’t ask that question? “You ask me that after I’ve blown you?” she shrieked.

He smiled cluelessly, “Well, yeah, I guess the timing was a little off. If it helps I would have asked before, but you kinda…”

Lina groaned, “Great, so when our kids ask how you proposed I’m going to have to lie or…Gourry?”

He was staring at her as if she’d just handed him a basket of gold. “Our kids?” he asked hopefully as he grabbed her hands.

Her anxiety shot through the roof as she realized that the road before her was set. She laughed nervously, “Um, yes, in the future, you know. Far into the future.”

“So is that a yes?” he asked.

She stared into her lap, unable to avoid the sight of their hands entwined. After realizing she wasn’t going to answer he asked quietly, “Do you love me?”

She squeezed his hands. The least she could do was let him know that he wasn’t the reason she was hesitating. “Yes.”

He exhaled in relief, “Then why is this such a hard decision for you?”

How could she explain it to him? How could she explain that while she was enough for him, she wanted more? She wanted him, and she wanted to travel and to have adventures, or to simply live a life where the highlight of the day was not getting the laundry washed, dried, ironed, and put away early in the afternoon. But how could she explain that without hurting him?

She patted him gently on the arm. The question, she decided, was not relevant. She had said she would only be intimate with one man, and though she’d not planned on becoming sexual that evening, it had happened. She was going to settle down and be happy and not let him know that she wanted more. “It’s not. It’s…just a lot to take in, all of these changes, you know?”

He looked at her skeptically. She leaned forward to kiss him gently. When she pulled away she put a hand on her shoulder, “Stay with me tonight, and every night. Just hold me now, while I sleep.”

Sleep was what she needed. Surely after getting some sleep she would awake refreshed and eager for the next chapter of her life. Certainly it would not be as bad as she feared.

She scooted over so he would have room and then turned so she was facing away from him. The bed creaked slightly under his weight as he joined her, causing her to blush slightly as she wondered who had the room to their right and if he or she could hear. As he wrapped his arms around her and whispered “good night” she mused that going to sleep this way might not be too bad…

* * *

Someone’s hand was cupping her butt. Lina’s breath hitched for a moment as she wondered who was in bed with her, and then relaxed as she remembered that she had invited Gourry into her bed the previous night. He groaned longingly as he continued to feel her up.

As she opened her eyes and noticed the first rays of sunlight starting to shine through the window, she reflected that waking up this way was actually rather nice. There was something soothing in the weight of his arms around her and the feel of his warmth on her skin. The excitement of impending sex with someone she trusted crackled through the air expectantly. And, clingy as it seemed, there was something to be said for getting to see him before getting dressed. And above all else, it was simply nice to not wake up alone.

But, she reflected as his hand moved to her hip and started to press her to roll to her side, was it nice enough to make up for the drudgery of domesticity?

In an instant she wished she’d not thought of domesticity. The pleasure she’d been feeling evaporated under the weight of the word. But she had made her decision the previous night. Now she had to proceed with it.

She put her hand on his shoulder and took a deep, steadying breath. She needed to get it over with. She’d been spending too much time analyzing her decision, bringing all of this anxiety on herself. Surely once she went all the way she would accept it and move forward.

His eyes fluttered open and he looked at her in surprise for a moment. Had he been asleep? Then he smiled as he stroked her hair. “Morning Sunshine.”

She returned his smile. “Morning.” She said, hoping her voice didn’t betray how nervous she was.

He still couldn’t quite shake the feeling that it was all a wonderful dream. That the previous night had been real, that she’d stayed with him all night and hadn’t run off. He leaned forward to claim her lips, confused as her return kiss was weak and still, rather unlike the robust, passionate ones of the previous night. He pulled away. “Is everything okay?”

“Fine!” she said as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled at the hem of his shirt. “Don’t stop.”

He helped her pull his shirt over his head and put his hands on her shoulders, relaxing a little. It was her first time, she was bound to be a little nervous. He was nervous! If he failed to impress… “I will though. If it hurts, just let me know.”

She leaned forward to kiss him, and excitement surged through him as some of the gusto from the previous night could be discerned. “Just don’t stop!” she broke the kiss momentarily to whisper.

She grabbed his hands and put them on the sash of her robe. He let it rest in his hands, taking some time to savor the moment as he broke the kiss to meet her eyes. “I love you.” He said.

He was confused by how irritated she seemed. “Yes, I know. I love you, now let’s do this!”

He undid the sash and opened her robe, relishing in the sight of her naked body as he reached to caress places he had dreamed of exploring for years. Her breathing hitched delectably as he asked, “What’s the rush? Are you worried about missing breakfast?”

A strangled moan was his only answer. He smiled as he moved his face down to kiss a tender pink nipple, “We can always get room service.”

“Gourry…” she hissed as she spread her legs invitingly as she reached a hand to firmly grasp his erection. “Do it.”

His eyes went wide as he let out a wheezing sound. All thoughts of taking it slow were subsumed under the torrent of pleasure she had evoked with her touch. And he’d been waiting so long already! Besides, he’d learned long ago that it was best not to argue with Lina.

“Ju-just let me know if it hurts.”

“Just do it!” she snarled.

He swiftly found her entrance and did as asked, closing his eyes as he savored the feeling of having her surround him. “Lina…” he breathed as he gave her a few more thrusts, puzzled by her lack of response.

He would have expected someone like Lina to move back, but instead she was lying rather still. Was he hurting her, or was it just nerves?

He opened his eyes and found her gripping his arms, her face turned to the side with tears falling from them.

He pulled out as horror filled him. “I told you to tell me if it hurts!”

“No!” she yelled as she sat up, “I told you not to stop!”

“I can’t when you’re crying…”

“I’m not!” she said as she grabbed his shoulder, “Let’s…”

He wiped a tear from her face and brought it eye level with her. “What’s wrong?”

She threw herself back on the bed and wiped her eyes, “I’m just being stupid.”

“Was…was it that bad? I can get better…”

“No!” she said, putting a hand on his arm, “Don’t think that, you were fine, it’s me. Just don’t worry about it.”

He wanted to believe her. He thought back to the previous night and decided that whatever it was, it was likely related to her reaction after she’d given him a blow job and not that he was a poor lover (he hoped). Still, it was difficult to truly believe it when she wouldn’t open up. He moved so he was on his side beside her and then wrapped an arm around her, pulling her to him. “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Both of them jumped as her door shot open and Amelia skipped in, “Sleeping in?” she asked, and then her eyes widened as Gourry started kicking himself for not locking the door after himself when he came in the previous night.

Lina flushed crimson as she pulled the sheets around herself, “Amelia!” she screeched.

“Ah…”Amelia said as she scratched her head nervously, “From now on I’ll remember to knock first.”

“Please do.” Gourry said.

Amelia laughed nervously as she turned to leave, muttering as she got to the door, “It’s about time!”

Lina groaned as Amelia shut the door, “That was mortifying.”

“Well, I guess the secret’s out.” Gourry said.

Lina nodded, “She’s probably on her way to tell Zel and anyone else she comes across.”

She got up and started to dress, “I guess we might as well face the music. How does breakfast sound?”

Gourry smiled slightly, though it was not genuine. “We still have to talk.”

“But such important matters should not be discussed on an empty stomach!” Lina persisted as she pulled her tunic over her head.

Wondering if he was ever going to truly get her to open up to him, he started to fish around for his shirt. “I left my armor and a few other things in my room. I’ll meet you downstairs for breakfast?”

“Of course!” she replied as she put on her talisman.

He grabbed his pants and put them on, and found his boots. He kissed her gently before he left, ambivalence coursing through him in waves. She’d told him she loved him. But she was crying while they were making love. But she spent the whole night with him. But there was something she wasn’t telling him.

As he opened the door to his room he wondered if he would ever understand her.

* * *

Amelia was whispering something furiously to Zel when he came down for breakfast. For Zel’s part, he was looking deliberately disinterested as he sipped his coffee. Gourry pulled up a chair and Amelia jumped in surprise. Apparently she’d not heard his approach.

“Morning.” He said as he sat down.

“M-morning!” Amelia cheerily piped. “Where’s Miss Lina?”

That was what Gourry was wondering. Especially as gathering his stuff had not been a quick errand as he’d had some pressing desires to attend to. Though perhaps she was engaging in her own form of self-release? “In her room I imagine. She should be down soon.”

“You two don’t have to keep up the pretense you know.” Amelia scolded.

“Pretense?” Gourry asked.

“I mean you don’t have to keep it a secret!”

“It’s true, Amelia’s already told everyone from here to the Outer World.” Zel added.

“Yes!” Amelia said, “All that’s left to know is, when’s the date?”

Hearing footsteps approach and assuming it was the waitress (whoever it was did not walk with Lina’s forceful stride), he gratefully turned to place an order and frowned when he saw someone who looked more like the receptionist. His heart started beating faster as the man met his gaze.

“Mr. Gabriev?” he asked.

“Yes?” Gourry said, feeling as though he had been punched in the gut as he noticed a letter in his hand.

“I was told to give this to you.”

Mechanically he took the letter. “D-did she check out?”

“Yes.”

“Mr. Gourry…” Amelia whispered as he sat the letter on the table as the weight of all of his fears seemed to crash starkly into reality.

Then he shot out of his seat and out the front door. She couldn’t have gotten too far! He could still fix whatever he’d done wrong! He looked around and struggled to reign in his panic and focus his senses to track her. Stop, breath, stop, breath.

“Mr. Gourry!” Amelia yelled as she caught up with him and put a hand on his shoulder, the letter open in her hand as Zel followed behind. “It’s okay. Look, she said she just needed some time to think and that she’d meet up with us in Eciton. Even if we make slow progress there’s no way we won’t end up there tonight!”

Gourry shook his head, “What if she’s just diverting us to buy more time? What if something happens to her along the way? What if…”

“Get a grip!” Zel said as he leaned against the doorway, “She’s had plenty of times to leave and she could never do it.”

“That’s right!” Amelia said, “When Hellmaster kidnapped you, when you went to live with Kuppi, she could never do it.”

Gourry took a deep breath. They were asking him to gamble with the thing most important to him. “Fine, but we leave now.”

As he turned to go to the checkout desk, Zel and Amelia exchanged a glance. “I’ve never known him to take control like that.”

“I’ve never known him to skip breakfast.”


	3. Chapter 3

She walked more slowly than usual, wondering with each step she took how things had gone so wrong. How, instead of being wonderful and magical, her first time had ended in tears and embarrassment. She hadn’t meant to cry like a wimp, but once she’d started she was horrified to discover that she couldn’t stop. That rather than being swept away with newfound pleasure, she kept thinking about everything she was relinquishing.

And if that hadn’t been distressing enough, the idiot had noticed. That he himself wasn’t so swept away by her performance to be oblivious to her tears only increased the mortification factor.

When he left her room, panic had set in. She couldn’t face the prospect of a day of traveling with him with this hanging between them unresolved. She couldn’t face Amelia and the awkward questions she was certain to ask. For the past few days she’d been desperate for some space to think, but finding it was hard in such a close knit group.

So she decided to manipulate things to give herself a day alone, granted she realized that she was likely increasing Gourry’s frustration and annoyance with her. That he had even left for a week with Kuppi was a warning signal that even his patience had limits. Still, if she could sort herself out before she reached Eciton, then it would all be worth it.

She heard footsteps approach from the opposite direction, but sensed no malice or bloodlust. Likely it was another traveler. Lina froze as he came into view, looking just as stunned to see her as she did him. He smiled slightly, chuckling to himself as she glared menacingly at him.

“Let me guess,” Zel said, “You hid in the hotel until we left and then started to Eciton on your own.”

Lina folded her arms across her chest, “So why did you head back?”

“Gourry was in such a rush to leave that I didn’t do my usual check. I left my canteen there. Gourry’s in such a hurry to reach Eciton as quickly as possible that he refused to turn back. I told them I’d catch up with them.”

As he continued to walk towards the hotel, she turned around and walked beside him quietly for a few moments before Lina stated, “Amelia told me about you two.”

“Oh.”

“So how is it you two can get on the battlefield together without messing up, but Gourry and I have been falling apart lately?”

“Hm.” He replied contemplatively. “Well, I’m only a third human, and Amelia’s crazy enough to believe that justice will always prevail.”

Lina smiled. “Well, and she probably finds a certain romance in fighting to the death together.”

They walked in silence for a bit, and finally Lina said, “Say Zel, if I was making the mistake of my life, you’d tell me, right?”

“Huh?”

“Look, I need to talk to someone, but Gourry’s too close to the situation and Amelia is so obsessed with seeing Gourry and I settle down together for some reason that she’s very biased. But you don’t really care, do you? I mean, if settling down with him was the wrong decision, you’d say something, wouldn’t you?”

Zel blinked uncomfortably, obviously feeling put on the spot. “Really I wouldn’t see it as any of my business.”

“Which is exactly why you’re the one I need to talk to!”

“I guess. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care. Both you and Gourry are my friends, and I would not want to see either of you unhappy. I just don’t think it’s my place to tell either of you what to do.”

Lina smiled tiredly, realizing that if he felt she was in a better position without him, telling her as much could be a betrayal of his friendship with Gourry. “And him being without me would make him unhappy, huh?”

“Well, I can’t see it making you particularly happy, either. Really, whenever you’ve been without him you’ve been miserable.”

“True,” Lina said, “But I can’t see myself happy keeping house as a wife either.”

Zel’s eyes widened, “That’s your hang up?”

“Well, yeah!”

“Honestly, Lina, I always assumed that if you did settle down, you wouldn’t be the typical wife.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You do everything else on your own terms, why not this?”

“That sounds good, but how?”

Zel exhaled, “I guess I figured you’d have an idea.”

“Well, I don’t. I’ve never seen anyone do it.”

“You never saw anyone defeat Shabranigdo, but you did it.”

“Those are a little different.” Lina pointed out tiredly as the inn came into view.

“You just have to find a way to manipulate the system. Look, do you know why I finally took Amelia’s offer to stay in Seyruun?”

“Why?”

“I’d get access to their libraries and whenever I run into something of interest and have to travel, I can usually talk the royal family into giving me financial backing for an expedition. Most of it would benefit Seyruun easily. And I get to stay near Amelia.”

Lina smiled as he held the door open for her, “That’s smart.”

He turned to stare at her, “If you ask me you’ve been making this harder on yourself. If you want to be with him and you don’t want to be the typical housewife, then get with him and don’t be the typical housewife.”

“You say that like it’s easy.”

Zel laughed, “Lina, since when is anything we do easy?”

It took her a moment, but she smiled. “May be I have been overthinking this.” She conceded.

“One moment.” He said as he checked with the innkeeper if anyone had turned in a canteen. Once retrieved he turned back to face her. “Do you think he’ll be okay with it?” Lina asked as they made their way to the door.

“You mean Gourry?” Zel asked, surprised.

“Well, isn’t that what men want? Coming home to a well ordered house managed by prim wife?”

Zel sighed and shook his head, “Lina, he’d do anything to see you happy. Besides, if that was what he wanted he wouldn’t have to look far to find it. He’s good looking and, stupid as he is, is talented enough to find work to provide for a family. But all these years he’s stayed with you.”

“I guess.” Lina said.

Zel let out an exasperated sigh. “And people say he’s the thick one.”

“Hey!” she exclaimed as she stopped in her tracks.

“Look, I’ve got to make double time to catch up. Are you going to keep up or trail behind?”

Lina folded her arms across her chest and decided to let the slight pass, “Go on ahead, I’ll catch up. I still have a lot to think about.”

Zel nodded, and started to take off down the road when her voice arrested him, “Hey Zel. Thanks.”

He smiled, and then set off down the road as she resumed a more leisurely place. His talk hadn’t solved the problem, but it had altered her perspective. Where before she saw things as continue traveling or settle down she was now considering different ways to make settling down more attractive. As she considered different possibilities and weighed their pros and cons she started to feel something she hadn’t in a while, excitement about the future. She smiled to herself. She was still nervous, but the choices before her seemed a little less bleak.

* * *

His stomach felt as though it had been bunched into a plethora of knots. While he knew that actively pursuing her romantically was fraught with risk, he never could have imagined that he would have lost her the night after he let himself believe he had won her over.

He took a deep breath. _I haven’t lost her,_ he reminded himself, _she said she just needs time to think. We all need time to think, and space to do it. I shouldn’t get so worried about it._

But that she needed time to think meant that her decision to stay with him was still not a sure thing.

“I just don’t get it.” Amelia said, cutting through his thoughts. He braced himself. Ever since they left the inn she had been trying to wheedle out of him what had happened. He wasn’t talking. It was too embarrassing. Now that Zel had turned back it seemed as though she decided to make a fresh start. “I mean, you two seemed so cuddly this morning.”

Gourry bit his tongue, thinking wryly that she must not have seen too much then. Amelia looked at him out of the corner of her eye and then continued, “I mean, I figured if she was with you like that then she’d resolved the conflict she was feeling.”

“Conflict?” he asked.

“You know, she wants to be with you, but she doesn’t want to settle down and be a wife.” Gourry inhaled, wondering why she had explained that to Amelia and not him. “I know she was thinking of leaving, but I didn’t think it was too serious. I figured she’d worked out a way to be happy as a wife and that’s why she was with you.”

Gourry folded his arms across his chest as his annoyance with Lina grew, wondering yet again why she couldn’t have opened up to him about what was bothering her, even while feeling fearful that she might leave. At least now he had the missing piece of the puzzle to confront her with the next time he saw her.

If he saw her.

Amelia gave him a look, becoming more and more irritated as he kept his silence. Finally a gleam shone in her eyes as she folded her arms across her chest knowingly, “I guess you’re right, there’s no use brooding about the past. We have to think of your future! So, what’s your plan?”

“Plan?” Gourry asked.

“To get her back! If you want my advice, you’d better buy her something expensive to start with.”

“Huh?”

“Ah! And at dinner I can talk about a local beauty with really big breasts who is reportedly in town who likes towering stupid swordsmen, and you can act a little too interested. Try to stir up some jealousy on her end.”

“But how would…”

“And if she shows interest in you, act disinterested, it will only make her want you more!”

“That makes no sense!”

“Do you want to get the girl or not?”

“Well, yes…”

“Then you have to do what I say!”

Amelia continued in that vein, plotting scheme after scheme as Gourry tuned her out, worrying about whether or not Lina would even be at the inn when they got there. Eventually he became aware of Zel’s presence as he caught up with them. At least Zel would tell Amelia to be quiet so he wouldn’t have to be distracted by her contrivances.

Zel clasped him on the back in an unusually comforting manner when he caught up to them. “Did you find your canteen?” Amelia asked.

“Yes. Shouldn’t be long now till we reach Eciton.” Zel said, and then stole a glance at Gourry. “I ran into Lina.”

Gourry stopped abruptly. “What?”

“She hung around the inn until we left. She was serious in her letter about just needing some time to think.” Zel explained, “She’ll catch up to us tonight easily.”

Reluctantly, he took a few steps forward. So she was behind them, not ahead of them. She would not be at the in waiting for them, he would have to wait for her. It took all of his resolve to refrain from turning around and finding her. Hadn’t he been waiting long enough for her? Yet if she wanted her space that badly forcing her to see him before she was ready would likely result in a forest fire. So he continued to walk forward.

“What did she say?” Amelia asked.

“Nothing much. Just that’s she’s scared of being a wife.”

A sudden rage swelled within Gourry. So Lina would talk to Amelia and Zel about it but not him. He didn’t hear much more of Zel and Amelia’s conversation. The roaring of the blood in his ears drowned them out. Eventually they reached Eciton, the world taking on a reddish tinge as they reached the inn. He checked in quickly, grabbed his room key and took the stairs three at a time.

He fumbled with the key, but eventually he got the room opened. He closed and locked the door, noting that the window looked out onto the path that led to the inn’s entrance and he would easily see Lina coming down it. He got out his sword, thankful that this was one of the nicer inns that they frequented and the rooms were large. He had plenty of room to practice his sword exercises.

He needed to calm down. It was rare that he felt as angry as he did then. But the constant back and forth, the knowledge that something was bothering her that affected why she didn’t want to be with him even as she did want to be with him, how after all they’d been through she still couldn’t seem to trust him enough to open up to him.

The sweat was thick on his brow and the sun low in the sky when he saw her make her way to the inn. He felt his body relax slightly. She was okay, and had been serious about meeting up with them. He tensed again as it occurred to him that she might have decided not to stay after all, and would be coming up to tell him goodbye.

He sat down by the table and set his sword on it, gripping the armrests tightly. He wondered if she would track him down or if she would make him find her. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, focusing on the sounds of the occupants of the inn. Eventually he heard her footsteps on the stairs, followed by the sound of her walking through the hallway, closer and closer to his room. He took a steadying breath when she knocked.

He stood up and made the short distance to the door, opening it slightly. She looked just as nervous as he did as she scratched the back of her head. “Um, if you’re not too angry at me, I was wondering if I could come in?” she added with her typical cutesy flourish.

Gourry marveled that his anger was still showing. “Are you going to talk to me?”

She looked him square in the eye. “Yes.”

He held open the door as he backed away so she could come in, “Then I’m not too mad.”

She entered quietly and took a seat at the round table, and he took the second one opposite her. He stared at her steadily as she looked at the table, waiting for her to speak. Finally she stated, “You asked me to marry you.”

He tensed as he realized he was either going to see his dreams realized or be torn to shreds. “Yes.” He said softly.

“And I think we should do it.” She said steadily. “I…Gourry?”

He hadn’t meant to slump forward in relief, or to tremble from it. But he had. He grasped the edge of the table steadily, “Sorry,” he said, “I was just so scared you would say no.”

She punched him playfully on the shoulder, “Idiot, leaving you was never really an option.”

He stared at her exasperatedly, “You say that, but everything you’ve done…”

Her eyebrow twitched, “I had a lot to work out.”

“That you could never tell me about!” he said louder and more harshly than he meant to.

She scowled menacingly, “You’re getting what you want.” She gritted, “You should just be happy.”

“How can I be? I want you more than anything! And I want you to be happy. And if you’re with me and crying…”

She put a hand on his arm as her demeanor softened. “I wouldn’t be very happy if I wasn’t with you. Look, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want, and that’s to be with you. Somehow we can make everything else fit into place.”

He took a deep breath. He wanted to believe what she was saying but he was still feeling raw from the constant tug of war of the past few days. “I’ll do what it takes, just remember, having you with me doesn’t mean much if you’re miserable.”

She nodded, “I want to settle in a city. Some place where there’s lots to see and do, and restaurants to eat at. Sorry, but I don’t think I can manage quietly on the edge of a small town.”

Gourry nodded, “Where doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with you.”

Suddenly his stomach growled loudly. They blinked for a moment and then laughed, “I’ve barely eaten all day.” He explained.

“Come on,” she said, standing up, “Let’s get some dinner.”

* * *

Practically the minute they found a table, they were joined by an inquisitive Amelia. “So?” she asked, as she slipped uninvited to an empty seat.

Gourry masked his annoyance. He and Lina still had a lot of talking to do. And, despite her current talk of wanting to marry him, it was hard for him to fully trust her after the agonizing back and forth of the past few days, trailed by years of denial of any feelings for him on her part. “Sorry.” Zel whispered to him as he took a seat, “I managed to stop her from eavesdropping, but that used up the last of my reserves.”

Lina, on the other hand, seemed to take it in stride. “So, don’t go making a big deal of it or anything, but as soon as we figure out where to settle we’re getting married.”

Though she said it as casually as one would read a weather report, the impact of her statement was explosive. Amelia threw her hands over her mouth and let out a shriek of excitement while Gourry turned to stare at her in astonishment as she grabbed his hand under the table. That she hadn’t dodged the topic with their friends was stunning.

Amelia had somehow sprinted across the table and started hugging Lina, “I’m so happy for you!” she said. “A wedding! There’s so much to plan!”

“What, are you the maid of honor?” Lina said teasingly

“Of course! I’ve been thinking about what you’ve said, and you two should settle in Seyruun, you could be the court sorceress, Mr. Gourry could be the swords master, they’d be good positions and all four of us could be together!”

Lina gave him a glance, “We’ll think about that. It’s tempting.”

“Oh, and you could be married in the Temple of Ceipheed, you’ve been there, you know how lovely it is!”

“Hold on, Amelia!” Lina protested, “I was thinking of something smaller. Besides, I’m not sure if my folks could travel from Zeferia and, well, actually if we could just get my parents up to Seyruun and to leave my Sis at home it might just work.”

“Is your sister really so bad that you wouldn’t want her at your wedding?” Amelia asked incredulously.

Lina nodded firmly as she folded her arms across herself. “Anyway, now that I think of it we’d also have to worry about Gourry’s family, say, where are you from anyway? And whatever you do, don’t tell me you don’t remember!”

Gourry nearly spit out the drink he was taking and hoped he recovered, “Elmekia.” He said quietly as he sat his drink down, “And don’t worry about my family, they’re not invited.”

Silence fell upon the table as he added awkwardly, “I’ll explain later. What’s important is that, either in Seyruun or Zeferia, we get married, right?”

Lina blinked at him, “Right.” She said, “Well, in that case I guess we just have to worry about my family. If we do it in Zeferia my friends growing up could come, but in Seyruun…”

He watched her quietly as she and Amelia dove deep into wedding planning. It was encouraging to see her enthusiasm for the task. That she was actively making plans was a welcome sign that she was serious about settling down. It was getting easier to let go of the fear that he’d wake up in the morning to find her gone.

Only thing left was to tell her about his past, and as he thought about it, the anger he felt towards her started to abate. It had not been the first time she’d asked, but he’d always dodged the question. And while she didn’t like to show it, he could tell she was hurt by the fact that he wouldn’t share his past with her.

The realization that Lina was not the only one who had inadvertently hurt a loved one by protecting oneself welled within him. She’d kept him at arm’s length for years because settling down scared her, he’d never shared his past with her, partly because he didn’t want to revisit it, partly because he was scared of how she would react. Granted, this was Lina of the dubious morals, but while she had claimed the Sword of Lights as hers, she had never stolen it from him.

And she could have. Easily. But she had always respected his ownership of it.

How would she react when she learned that he had stolen it in the first place?

He mused it over as Lina and Amelia winded down. Eventually Amelia and Zel left, and Lina turned to consider him. “I, um, I didn’t get a room of my own. You know, I figured if we’re going to be settling down soon we’d better save all of the money we can on a home and,” she continued, blushing furiously, “I know the morning was a little rough, but it was nice waking up beside you, and…”

He put a hand on her arm, “You’re crazy if you’d think I’d want you back in your own room.”

She relaxed slightly, though an air of nervousness still clung around her. “Shall we go up, then?”

He moved his hand down to hold hers, “I stole the Sword of Light.” He said softly.

Her eyes widened as he continued, “My family, they were fighting over it. Killing each other over it. So I stole it, because if they had nothing to fight over, then they wouldn’t have to kill themselves over it. I did it to protect them.”

He waited a few tense seconds as she stared at him searchingly before she smiled, “Honestly, Gourry, if someone as pure and noble as you had to resort to stealing, then you must have had a good reason for it.”

She leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead, and then she stood up and offered him her arm, “Come on.” She said, “It’s been a long day, let’s get to bed.”

He smiled as he stood up and took her arm, heading up the stairs. This was one of the things he loved about her, her complete confidence in the people around her. His heart raced as she walked as closely to him as possible as his thoughts started to tread towards what would happen once they were alone in their room.

And while he wanted her desperately, he was also terrified of looking down to find her crying again.

He unlocked the door and they walked in, and Lina silently removed her mantle as she settled into a chair. He took a deep breath as she started rummaging through it, “I’m going to take a shower.” He announced as he headed towards the bathroom, “I was getting in some sword practice earlier, worked up a bit of a sweat.”

Thanking his lucky stars that this hotel was one of the nicest they frequented and that it not only had indoor plumbing, but private bathrooms, he opened the door and stepped into the blue tiled room as he took a deep, calming breath. He quickly disrobed and stuck a hand through the curtain to pull the lever, starting the flow of water. There was only one setting, but fortunately it was pleasant, not too hot, not too cool. He got under the spray of water, finding it calming and soothing. Tonight would be different, he vowed. Lina seemed more comfortable for one thing. For another he wouldn’t let her rush them through it. And…

He heard the door open. His heart sped up as he detected her bare footsteps on the tile. She drew the curtain back, and then stood in the entrance of the shower, naked, though he noted she had taken the time to arrange her hair so it draped over her breasts. She smiled seductively, and there was a devious glint in her eyes. The only thing that betrayed her own nerves were her hands, which trembled slightly.

“Lina?” he asked, her name catching in his throat awkwardly.

“I thought I should offer to wash your back.” She said as casually as she could manage, “You know, make the past few days up to you.”

Before he could say anything coherent, she joined him, closing the curtain behind her as she reached behind him to grab the soap, their bare skin touching as she did. All too soon she pulled away as she moved so she was behind him, “First we’ve got to get all if this hair off your back.” She said as she started to gather it.

He laughed a little, “You’ve got your work cut out for you then. Lina…” he breathed as she tossed his hair over his shoulder and drew a wash cloth across the broad expanse of his back, somehow managing to reach up to kiss the base of his neck.

He reached forward to brace his arms against the shower wall as she traced circles on his back with the cloth and blew kisses along his spine, her breath cool against his skin. Pleasure seized his mind, preventing him from thinking of all that could go wrong. How could anything go wrong when what she was doing felt so good?

When she got down to the base of his spine she grabbed his hips as she started to kiss him midway between her hands, causing him to brace himself against the shower wall to keep from losing his balance. And then she moved a hand forward to grab his erection…

“Lina!” he croaked, and then turned around and bent down slightly to lift her from her knees, “It’s not fair, you’ve had plenty of time to play with me, but I’ve not had any to play with you.”

Before she had time to respond he kissed her ravenously, wrapping his hand around her waist before moving them up so they were cupping her breasts. He pushed her gently so she was back against the wall as he started to massage her breasts, enjoying the way she whimpered into his mouth.

He moved his kisses to her jaw and then down to her collarbone, brushing her hair back and out of his way. Eventually he made his way down to her breasts and he started to suck one while his hand continued to massage its partner, encouraged by the moans of pleasure Lina gave. Slowly his hand meandered down her body till he reached between her legs. He moved his fingers between her folds, satisfied to find her wet, and not from the shower.

Lina found that he had still had yet to reach his eventual destination. Eventually he moved his kisses down her stomach, and further still until he had to kneel before her, lifting her slightly so her legs were wrapped around his shoulders, her back against the wall as he parted her folds so he could reach her clit and he started to suck. She let out a strange mewling noise, marveling at how his ministrations were so much more intense than what she could do with her fingers.

Yes, pleasure was building rapidly through her, but every time it got too intense she started to whimper, no, not whimper, it was more like a shrieking noise. Whatever it was, it was loud, and the last thing she wanted was to announce to the whole inn that they were having sex.

But working to keep her enthusiasm restrained had the unfortunate effect of killing the buildup. And oh, how she wanted the release! It was frustrating! She mewed as he moved a finger into her opening, stroking her from within as he sucked at her eagerly. Keeping things quiet was getting harder.

He started stroking her hip gently and her breathing became deeper as she struggled to keep the reins on her self control. She could have this pleasure without screaming her head off or she’d be damned!

He moved a second finger within her. She moaned, and decided to let herself be damned. And if someone dared to complain about the noise, she’d lob a Burst Rondo their way! She came hard as screams of pleasure tore through her throat, echoing shamelessly off the shower walls.

Gourry moved to kiss her as she came down, holding her body, now relaxed, closely. He was feeling more confident in his abilities now. If he could get her there, surely the rest of the night would go smoothly. Eventually she returned his embrace.

He pulled back a little to collect himself as he stood up. Fortunately his reflexes were as quick as ever, as she thrust herself into his arms, wrapping her legs around him as he fought to retain his balance. One hand wrapped around her to hold her as she started to nuzzle at his neck while the other found the lever as he turned it off. Getting them safely to bed was now a priority, the last thing he wanted was to ruin the evening by slipping and falling in the shower.

“Gourry?” she asked as he drew back the curtain.

“Some things are better done in bed.” He explained as he swiftly moved them there and laid her on it. Something about the way she reached for him was endearing, and he moved over her, paying close attention to her signals. Everything was going good, and he wanted to keep it that way.

Smoothly she wrapped her arms around him, caressing his back hungrily as he brought his head down to kiss her. She broke it off to whisper, “I love you.” Into his ear.

His breathing hitched. For the first time he hadn’t dragged the words out of her. Amazingly, she actually sounded as those she meant it! It was all he needed to be ready, and he positioned himself at her entrance, catching her eyes as he did. He pushed in, ignoring his urge to close his eyes and focus on the sensations. Instead he focused on the way her eyes closed in pleasure as she let out the cute mewing sound and moved against him in response.

This was more like it. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to move just yet. Eventually she moved against him furtively, looking up to glare at him. “Why aren’t you moving?” she asked.

“I just like watching you.” He said innocently.

“If you don’t move, I’ll fireball you!” she threatened.

“Oh, but if you do that, I won’t be able to do this!” he said as he pulled out swiftly to push himself back in.

“Gourry!” she cried in protest, and he leaned forward to kiss her. He’d tease her a bit more, he decided, before he’d finally allow himself to lose himself within her. He’d waited for so long, after all, what was a few more minutes, especially if it heightened the anticipation?

* * *

He’d not slept well, but he did not begrudge the lack of sleep. He dozed lightly on and off, looking beside him to confirm that yes, Lina was still there and sleeping contentedly beside him. After years of wanting to be more than friends they were finally lovers. And, he kept telling himself, she wasn’t going to run off on him. She was going to marry him.

Warmth filled him as sunlight filtered through their room. Already it was morning, and she was still sleeping by his side.

Or, rather, stirring by his side. Eventually she opened her eyes and saw him there. He held his breath, but she smiled slightly.

“Morning.” She mumbled.

Though she turned around, she also snuggled to him so they were spooning. He relaxed as he wrapped an arm around her, holding her closely. For a moment he thought she’d gone back to sleep, but then she asked, “So, what do you think of Amelia’s offer to go to Seyruun and take up court positions?”

“Did she offer that?”

“Yes, idiot, last night!”

“Oh.” He thought for a moment, “If that’s what you want. Just let me know and I’ll do it.”

She sighed, but when she spoke it was with a hint of affection, “It’s nice to know I can always count on that.”

Lina blinked against the rays of light shining through the curtains, realizing that his presence was a rock in the sea of changes that would be occurring within her life. She smiled and squeezed his arm. She was still a little nervous, but that was to be expected. Change was always slightly nerve wracking. But she knew that, so long as he was by her side, she could weather it.


End file.
